Angry Baby, You're the One (to the tune of Rubber Ducky)

Mark is turning into a baby who knows his own mind. He knows what he wants and communicates very effectively to get it. He is so cheerful most of the time, but if he wants something and you're denying him, then his temper kicks in. I have never seen such a little baby become so furious. He scrunches up his little face, and throws his body back. He screams and shakes his head. It is truly impressive, and it works. Who is going to ignore that? And this at 8 months. Look out world... By the way, weighs in at 18.45lbs.

Small Successes

1. Cleaned out my kitchen cupboards (well most of them). 
2. For each appointment this week we have been on time if not early, despite having multiple appointments back to back 30 minutes travel apart. And I kept my cool. 
3. I have purchased a good part of my bedding plants (early for us - it’s still pretty cool in Canada).

Surprises

We have been surprised.  Never before have I ovulated while exclusively breast-feeding.  Apparently I did and more obviously I missed it.  Truly, I wasn't paying that much attention, because I've never had to.  God has blessed this lack of observation with more than I deserve.  I am pregnant(who didn't see that coming?) and have no idea when the babe is due.  The doc suspects I'm 5 months along, but we won't know until my ultrasound on the 15th.  What has this meant?  I was so sick and couldn't figure out why no one else was getting the flu I had.  It means I continued to be more active than I would have if I'd known I was pregnant and feeling sorry for myself.  It means my pregnancy is about half done and I didn't even know.  It's very cool.  God knows what we need.

It does come with anxieties though, and I know God will look after them, but I keep wrestling them from his hands.  Poor Matthew and Mark will have shortened infanthoods.  I'll have 3 under 3.  All survivable, but still...  It's just my lack of control and my desire for it.

The children are so very happy and excited, and truly, so am I.  Each baby leaves one wondering it this is the last one and there's such a sadness in that, a mourning for a state of life that is passing.  But God in his mercy has given us another baby.  Justin glows.  He loves his babies so much.

Where my be

Today found us on the hunt for a suit for First Holy Communion.  It is always an adventure to load up everyone and take them someplace very public.  I always feel like I'm on trial for larger families everywhere.  But that's another post.

We successfully found a great outfit for Patrick.  But poor Matthew.  Everytime he took a shine to something for him we told him no.  The bathing suit that was a size 14 boys, the pink tankini, the pink sunglasses, the fluffy stuffed rabbit, the pink sandals(for Becca): all no.  Then at dinner, due to his recent meal strike, we didn't order him his own meal.  So he's shouting at the waitress, "Me too.  Where my be?" and then at dessert, the same thing.  Sharing wasn't going to cut it.  So onto the last store of the day, a mega store, and once again, "No honey, I don't need to buy you shoes.  You don't need water shoes (because you're not doing swimming lessons with the big kids - not out loud)."  And I just couldn't bear to tell him one more time that he just wasn't getting anything today.  That he has everyone else's hand me downs, that he didn't need anything.  "Yes, my love the sandals that light up are just what you need.  Yes, you can wear them home."  And VERY happily he did.

You're Hot and You're Cold

I am a hormonal emotional wreck looking for a place to happen.  It will be messy and sad and grim all at the same time.  I know it's coming so I'm avoiding public places in hopes to contain the mess.  The worst is that I know it's imminent but I also know it's unavoidable.  It's like the girl in horror movies in high heels who screams to let the monster know where she is and then runs.  Sigh ...

Memory is Tricky

Today my daughter told me sorrowfully that she couldn't remember Grandma's voice.  She could only remember when she said "Grammmmyyyy" Grandma would say "whatteeee".  So many thoughts tumbled through my brain.  So many responses:  "I know, sweetie, me too" "Memory does that"  "It doesn't mean you've forgotten Grandma".  But they all seemed so small and wrong.  So I just hugged her close and prayed. 

I Hope You Dance

Dancing babies abound in our house.  It must be something that starts in utero and then continues on the outside.  Mark, upon hearing the beat of anything, starts kicking and bopping his head.  It's no wonder he's not gaining weight at the same rate as previous babies.  He's by far the most active babe so far.  Dance baby dance!